sometimes i really dunno what is it with me, with all the problem around me and i was trying to bear it by myself. Why i can't just share with someone i really want to talk with? Why i always wanted to keep it in me? Why I must go all this by myself... i felt like i can't breath, my head were full of problem and yet i never ever settle it all...
I dun wanna take my problem to other, and yet i feel i really wan a shoulder to lean to...
Fuck Myself
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
4.00am
What a night i having here, been arguing with her, sapu my friend at snooker table for 80 point+, not to mention sure its about my mood... already been a long time since i really done it seriously... well back to the part where i said i argue with her, i bet everyone wan to know also.
Well thing happen when she mention about "can i put in relationship with someone" and that someone is not me. Well what would u feel if your bf or gf ask u like that, surely u will say know and i guess your other part will know the answer without asking right? I guess she know i wont be happy with it, but i just cant accept it cause when i ask her, she just directly reject my offer. Why other guy can? I bet she answer me cause she is my "brother", been friend for so long, i just helping him to chase away his fans. But why would u? Why must u?
Been sitting with my buddies at cafe until 4am, time to go back but i bet i cant sleep wish to stay at outside abit longer. but alone? i scare lonely, but what can i do if i went out? Go take picture? sunrise? dunno what i should do also.
4.30am right now, been in the bath room for 20 min, washing myself for 20min... but it not helping, no matter how long i been washing myself, my mind still full of u, the msg u told me still fresh, u said u are not a good gf... yeah i pretty agree, but i know u just being honest to me. Sometimes i did ask, am i really that honest to u? i bet i am not.
5am right now...not even yawning... what should i do? wait until 6am and go jogging? Crazy, been hell long since i lag jog. the last msg u send to me,"den ok la..u like..if u reli do it..den no nid find me again..also not my busines.bye..." are u serious with it? i wanted to ask u this but i can't. not cause u sleep already but cause i scare ur answer is a yes.
5.38am been looking at the wallet u gave me as my birthday present, been thinking what if u really serious about it? should i return it? or should i keep it in drawer? the ring u give me, should i take it down? the cloth u give me, should i just keep it someone where i wont take it out. i wanna tell u right now at this very moment what i thinking is all about u. Honestly I love u, that's why i dun like u post that out..............
Well thing happen when she mention about "can i put in relationship with someone" and that someone is not me. Well what would u feel if your bf or gf ask u like that, surely u will say know and i guess your other part will know the answer without asking right? I guess she know i wont be happy with it, but i just cant accept it cause when i ask her, she just directly reject my offer. Why other guy can? I bet she answer me cause she is my "brother", been friend for so long, i just helping him to chase away his fans. But why would u? Why must u?
Been sitting with my buddies at cafe until 4am, time to go back but i bet i cant sleep wish to stay at outside abit longer. but alone? i scare lonely, but what can i do if i went out? Go take picture? sunrise? dunno what i should do also.
4.30am right now, been in the bath room for 20 min, washing myself for 20min... but it not helping, no matter how long i been washing myself, my mind still full of u, the msg u told me still fresh, u said u are not a good gf... yeah i pretty agree, but i know u just being honest to me. Sometimes i did ask, am i really that honest to u? i bet i am not.
5am right now...not even yawning... what should i do? wait until 6am and go jogging? Crazy, been hell long since i lag jog. the last msg u send to me,"den ok la..u like..if u reli do it..den no nid find me again..also not my busines.bye..." are u serious with it? i wanted to ask u this but i can't. not cause u sleep already but cause i scare ur answer is a yes.
5.38am been looking at the wallet u gave me as my birthday present, been thinking what if u really serious about it? should i return it? or should i keep it in drawer? the ring u give me, should i take it down? the cloth u give me, should i just keep it someone where i wont take it out. i wanna tell u right now at this very moment what i thinking is all about u. Honestly I love u, that's why i dun like u post that out..............
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Missing u
5.26am 08/06/2011,
Woke up in the middle of the night cause of a dream... Trying to sleep again but can't, maybe slept too much. Well got nothing to do then, maybe write a blog while i was damn freaking boring right now...
Nothing much to say also...
Been looking on facebook, and i ended up at you page... review all of your picture and i found out, why does i always say u are not pretty while in my heart u are. Am i weird? I can't tell u this cause i know with your attitude, u sure been overwhelmed by what i said and will keep praising yourself cause of that... Weirdo u were.
U know what...there are a lot of thing that u said really hurt me sometimes... and remember the hennessy artistry night i went to? i saw that guy there, ended up my mood turn upside down. I dun like to saw him, wanna give him a punch on his freaking face. Never felt such hatred toward someone for all my life until now... he is the 1st one. I always think how good it will be if i have met u before he does... but its something i can't change.
We always argue and u always wanted to break up, but do u remember all those happy moment we spend is much more than the sadness we had? I know u do. Tho u say u are not sure about your feeling to me but i can feel what u really felt on me.
I just wanted u to know... that my feeling toward u is real. And i will do my best for u. I love u and i really miss u right now at this very moment... hope u receive my msg
Woke up in the middle of the night cause of a dream... Trying to sleep again but can't, maybe slept too much. Well got nothing to do then, maybe write a blog while i was damn freaking boring right now...
Nothing much to say also...
Been looking on facebook, and i ended up at you page... review all of your picture and i found out, why does i always say u are not pretty while in my heart u are. Am i weird? I can't tell u this cause i know with your attitude, u sure been overwhelmed by what i said and will keep praising yourself cause of that... Weirdo u were.
U know what...there are a lot of thing that u said really hurt me sometimes... and remember the hennessy artistry night i went to? i saw that guy there, ended up my mood turn upside down. I dun like to saw him, wanna give him a punch on his freaking face. Never felt such hatred toward someone for all my life until now... he is the 1st one. I always think how good it will be if i have met u before he does... but its something i can't change.
We always argue and u always wanted to break up, but do u remember all those happy moment we spend is much more than the sadness we had? I know u do. Tho u say u are not sure about your feeling to me but i can feel what u really felt on me.
I just wanted u to know... that my feeling toward u is real. And i will do my best for u. I love u and i really miss u right now at this very moment... hope u receive my msg
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Crossroad
Everyone walk on the path of life, but what will everyone do when they reach the crossroad? Choosing which path to take, but each path will lead to an unknown future. Yet we all need to choose.
I been standing here, at the crossroad once again. Thinking of which road to take, What might be the best for me. Why is it so complicated to choose while i already know that i just need to follow the road i have taken? Well i guess i know why also, I scare of losing what i have if i take another road away. But even i take the same path, would i still have what i have now in the future? Or i be left with nothing by that time?
Life is all about a long long journey to search for ourself. What we want and what we aim for. Cause i believe there are no right or wrong in this world, but our thought make is so. Which road to take also will bring us to an unknown future.
I been standing here, at the crossroad once again. Thinking of which road to take, What might be the best for me. Why is it so complicated to choose while i already know that i just need to follow the road i have taken? Well i guess i know why also, I scare of losing what i have if i take another road away. But even i take the same path, would i still have what i have now in the future? Or i be left with nothing by that time?
Life is all about a long long journey to search for ourself. What we want and what we aim for. Cause i believe there are no right or wrong in this world, but our thought make is so. Which road to take also will bring us to an unknown future.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
13-02-2011
A day bfore valentine and here again... i am single to go tru this valentine again...
all the thing that i prepared, dunno who should i give it to now. This year are just hard to live it, everything seem like not right again... being alone like what i did few years ago might make me better person than now... alone walking my path, without anyone to accompany... no matter how hard the road were... i am walking it by myself but now... even a bit of problem could have make me stop there without knowing how to get pass it, i started to rely on someone to help me... i starting to always find a shoulder to lean to, i am being useless...
all the thing that i prepared, dunno who should i give it to now. This year are just hard to live it, everything seem like not right again... being alone like what i did few years ago might make me better person than now... alone walking my path, without anyone to accompany... no matter how hard the road were... i am walking it by myself but now... even a bit of problem could have make me stop there without knowing how to get pass it, i started to rely on someone to help me... i starting to always find a shoulder to lean to, i am being useless...
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