Surprise

Wow, someone just send me a big surprise. I just remember how many hour have it pass since the word come out of my mouth... lets see... now is 6.25am... 31 hours 25min i guess... but thing changed so damn fast. Maybe it be better if thing just stay the way it was from the 1st. Or maybe thing were the same like 1st, but i was the one that think too much until i mixed it with virtual and reality. Here is virtual and where is reality? Dunno... maybe i shouldn't stalk on her profile and i never would discover the big surprise. Yeah she was in relationship with someone and i should be happy for her. But why despair shown deep inside me... Strom, she was just ur friend since the begining,and it will stay like tat forever.

For whole day i tried to hang out with my mom, sister then sing k with friend and went blow water with my friend, just to make myself happy abit, and when i just about to find her... and there is no reply. kinda hurt and sad. But lucky i take a nap and woke up now checking facebook... and now i cant fall back to sleep i guess...

Insomnia strike again...
i dunno what i wrote here....
just simple type what goes in my mind....

i thought of asking her to come by on saturday to join my friend party at club but now i guess there no need for it ady, she got a better guy will bring her out now.

just what the hell i was thinking now??

someone can chat with me?

THERE ARE NO ONE NOW>.< damn....
6.40am... i just smack the wall... and it end up my skin were torn...
bleed but seem like... something else hurt me more...

its the end of it now. im pulling out

The World Of Illusion

Illusion, something always appear in our life. But is it appear by coincidence or by our thought? I guess is all bout our self, who makes those illusion out. Maybe people were asking, what kind of illusion i was talking bout? Here i going to answer, Everything that cover our eyes to the truth. Sometime we just don't want to accept the fact that thing's were going out of order. That's why we choose to believe on the illusion that we created in our subconscious self. But why we wanna do it? As it going to hurt us deeper. People often said that we just trying to make thing's right, but can we really correct it to the time where everything never happen? No, I guess. And some also told me they done a lot of thing just to make them feel better, release stress... but HOW?? By hurting yourself? I guess it only making thing's worst... OK, maybe i what i said don't have point but what is the point to hurting yourself while that thing doesn't worth for it?

For me, i was living in my illusionary world. Claim that myself can always be there for someone, trusted that people will trust me as i was, Loving people as they were my only. But everything is not that simple. I can't be there for someone yet i don't have someone to trust on nor someone for me to truely love. Those sweet words, those sweet memory, those sweet stupid joke that we had... and the stupid thing we done together... is it just an illusion as well?

I gonna live my life for myself and make it better. So guy's out there, don't rely on other as it was ur life... stay strong. Be happy